Before we rock and roll on a new batch of street-bought fun, here's a quick reminder of the rating system:
Bang ji le - Excellent
Hen hao - Good
Yi ban - Meh (so-so)
Bu hao - Bad
Cha ji le - Shit
ROCKY BALBOA
Ah Rocky 6. I had wanted to see you for so long, but somehow, no one wanted to go see it with me. Despite being an American classic, maybe Rocky 5 left such a bad taste in people's mouths that the couldn't be bothered to accompany me on a $10 trip to the movies. But buying it for cheap in a strange locker in the basement of a mall cuts through many people's first line of defense excuses. In other words: Corey didn't have a choice any more.
So clearly I was looking forward to this one... but did it live up to the hype?
Yes.
It was really a damn good movie, having everything you'd want in a Rocky movie, and a healthy dose of heart to it.
The real question at the heart of any Rocky review would be: Where does it fall in the grand scheme of the Rocky Saga? Well... it's tough. Clearly, it could never dethrone the Cold War parabolic greatness of Rocky 4 (I WILL BREAK YOU!). But I would say it's easily on par with Rocky the first... making it a damn fun movie.
CHINESE BOOTLEG DVD BOX FUN: Turns out any movie named Rocky Balboa probably stars former WWE superstar The Rock. Oh, it's probably produced by WWE films also... Eh, close enough.
Shawn's Rating: Hen hao
Corey's Two Cents: Hen hao
DONNIE BRASCO
Much like American Beauty from last time, Donnie Brasco is just one of those modern classics that somehow passed me by. Thanks to the wide selection of old school bootlegs down the street, I was able to knock off yet another movie from my "I Can't Believe I never Saw That" list.
Also a lot like American Beauty, this movie was damn good. In different ways of course. As everyone I'm sure already knows, Donnie Brasco is one of many in a long line of great gangster movies. I'm sure everyone also knows that what makes it stand high above so many others in its class is it's classic line "Fuggehdaboutit." I mean, any movie that has a scene devoted to explaining what their classic line means (complete with Paul Giammati in a pre-stardom role), is probably a great movie.
Also, having a scene where your main characters feed hamburgers to a lion in the back seat of their car is also movie gold.
Donnie Brasco being anything less than great? Fuggehdaboutit!
(You know I had to... besides, it's still new to me.)
CHINESE BOOTLEG DVD BOX FUN: Nada. Movie's old enough for them to get it right I guess.
Shawn's Rating: Bang ji le
Corey's Two Cents: Bang ji le
BLOOD DIAMOND
Blood Diamond is good. Real good. It's a movie with an important message that never gets too preachy. It hits you hard with the truths behind the diamond exchange in Africa, and never stops. If anything, it just starts hitting harder and lower.
The acting is great, the pacing is great, and the two hour plus movie never feels long.
I don't want to say too much about this one, since I have a feeling it flew under a lot of people's radars. If you dismissed it because of the subject material, give it a look anyway. If you dismissed it because of Leo... well... get over it. Just keep not seeing Titanic, and check it out.
Shawn's Rating: Bang ji le
Corey's Two Cents: Bang ji le
CHINESE BOOTLEG DVD BOX FUN: You know how Martin Scorsese directed Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed? Well, apparently he did Blood Diamond also.
MAN OF THE YEAR
When I heard that they were making a movie about a Jon Stewart type character who runs for president, I got pretty psyched. Decently cool concept, right? Even though it had Robin Williams, who's been without a good movie since Death to Smoochie, I had fairly high hopes.
The commercials and trailers didn't do anything good for my excitement. Pretty much the exact opposite actually. It killed any thought I ever had for wanting to see the flick. Corey wanted to see it though (hadn't seen any of the promotional clips probably), so we picked this one up in the same locker as Rocky.
Well, the movie starts off interestingly enough, but quickly devolves into absolute garbage about voting machine glitches and unintelligible conspiracy theories.
Robin Williams is good, and gets off a few good lines (mixed in with a few painful groaners), but it's no where near enough to save the movie.
Not even Christopher Walken can save it.
I wanted to just give this one a "Bu hao", but considering the weakness of the second half of the movie, and just how badly they killed such a good concept (and probably any chance for a Stewart/Colbert ticket in '08) I'm going straight for the Cha ji le on this one. And I think Corey may agree (or hate it even more than me).
In short: Garbage.
CHINESE BOOTLEG DVD BOX FUN: Put it this way... any DVD box that has a negative review of the movie on the back should be a clear give away. Yeah, I'm being completely serious. They actually cut and pasted at least a paragraph of some bad review for the movie.
Oh yeah, and some of it is in Russian for some reason...
Shawn's Rating: Cha ji le
Corey's Two Cents: Cha ji le
Hope you found that informative or something. Check back here tomorrow for what may be the Year of the Rat's BEST BLOG POST EVER!
I kid you not.
- Shawn
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